Are You a Fixer?

As an empathic being, you may feel the need to “fix” people who are spiritually and emotionally broken. One of the most important lessons you can learn is that you cannot fix anyone but yourself. You can show someone the tools the need, give them instructions and even help them along the way, but ultimately must find their own path. People remain broken because they are not ready, willing or able to process their traumas, forgive the past, begin living in the present and welcome a new future for themselves. No matter how much time you spend with them or how much of a loving relationship you try to build, they must embrace their own spiritual and emotional healing. If they don’t, you will be drawn into their darkness and your positive energy may be turned to negative. (See my previous blog article “Misery Loves Company”) When you choose to help someone fix themselves, protect your own energy by setting limits. To quote some lyrics from the old song “The Gambler” by Don Schlitz: You've got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run Remembering these words may help you avoid emotional entanglement and toxic relationships. Instead of considering yourself a fixer, think of yourself as a gardener who teaches people how to grow their own spirituality. Sometimes you simply drop a seed and walk away. Other times you give some simple instructions to help them get started. Occasionally you may check back once in a while to see their progress. In rare instances, you may even see them reap what they have sown. Don’t look at it as a failure on your part if their seeds dry up or their plants wither and die. Just remember that success or failure is theirs and all you can do is try.